








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 243 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2267 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,708 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2535 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2459 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1709 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2005 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $759,979 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StarKoz | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | Nobody ゼウス● | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | Waxi | 56% | 39 |
| #4 | JEFF | 56% | 25 |
| #5 | Joe Daniel's en PiiWii | 53% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emO- | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | ✪ BroKeN 暁 | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Joe Daniel's en PiiWii | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | StarKoz | 4 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | X_Stone13 | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joe Daniel's en PiiWii | 398 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #2 | emO- | 373 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #3 | ✪ BroKeN 暁 | 356 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | X_Stone13 | 158 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Waxi | 117 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StarKoz | +2.56 | 78 | 57 |
| #2 | NaaDx | +2.09 | 68 | 60 |
| #3 | Joe Daniel's en PiiWii | +1.95 | 71 | 63 |
| #4 | Mkaul | +1.63 | 79 | 56 |
| #5 | emO- | +1.56 | 80 | 56 |





