








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 280 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Faceit | 112 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4399 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,148 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4786 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4537 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3440 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3385 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $647,247 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 120 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NIGHT'S WATCH | 68% | 40 |
| #2 | MD_abeL.* | 59% | 46 |
| #3 | Joe Daniel's en PiiWii | 53% | 43 |
| #4 | emO- | 53% | 138 |
| #5 | Vatos94 | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Authentiks11 | 50% | 22 |
| #7 | w#MomentosMágicos | 45% | 22 |
| #8 | Tatsumaki ♀♔ | 44% | 34 |
| #9 | X_Stone13 | 44% | 82 |
| #10 | KenPachi | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emO- | 21 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | X_Stone13 | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | w#MomentosMágicos | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | MD_abeL.* | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Joe Daniel's en PiiWii | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | emO- | 450 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | X_Stone13 | 217 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | NIGHT'S WATCH | 188 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | Joe Daniel's en PiiWii | 186 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | KenPachi | 112 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NaaDx | +2.08 | 77 | 66 |
| #2 | emO- | +1.27 | 81 | 52 |
| #3 | MD_abeL.* | +0.45 | 75 | 63 |
| #4 | Joe Daniel's en PiiWii | +0.41 | 75 | 64 |
| #5 | Authentiks11 | -0.79 | 43 | 55 |





