








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 141 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
804 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,492 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1057 | 30% |
| Smokes | 926 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 820 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 689 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $206,892 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bibzrrrrr | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Vathouf | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | Dr.KinSlayeR | 75% | 4 |
| #4 | Kyo* | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | KAYMAAKjjang | 67% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | syz | 65% | 23 |
| #8 | Pingo_vn | 64% | 33 |
| #9 | djiKON | 61% | 41 |
| #10 | HAMDOULILAH RIP THE DREAM | 56% | 18 |
| #11 | hY0LOf | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xpRim | 161 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | djiKON | 158 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Pingo_vn | 120 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | KAYMAAKjjang | 106 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | syz | 88 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KAYMAAKjjang | +2.60 | 69 | 77 |
| #2 | Kyo* | +2.20 | 87 | 77 |
| #3 | xpRim | +1.40 | 61 | 69 |
| #4 | syz | +1.35 | 72 | 79 |
| #5 | djiKON | +1.31 | 64 | 79 |





