








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 351 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 243 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2917 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,527 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3372 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3122 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2246 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2787 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $628,367 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bibzrrrrr | 85% | 13 |
| #2 | Pingo_vn | 79% | 70 |
| #3 | djiKON | 73% | 86 |
| #4 | xpRim | 73% | 102 |
| #5 | ClémenceLEMUR^[lpdq] | 72% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | syz | 48% | 42 |
| #18 | Dr.KinSlayeR | 48% | 40 |
| #19 | hY0LOf | 43% | 40 |
| #20 | 梁WEILONG | 42% | 33 |
| #21 | h4 | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyo* | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #2 | xpRim | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | djiKON | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | chan`cyalan.com | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | PCL : | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyo* | 365 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | chan`cyalan.com | 305 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #3 | xpRim | 299 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | HAMDOULILAH RIP THE DREAM | 290 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | Pingo_vn | 250 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyo* | +2.43 | 83 | 75 |
| #2 | xpRim | +1.99 | 66 | 66 |
| #3 | KAYMAAKjjang | +1.97 | 64 | 75 |
| #4 | John-David[sc] | +1.27 | 54 | 66 |
| #5 | PCL : | +0.61 | 73 | 64 |





