








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 230 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 118 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1434 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,722 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1447 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1384 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1503 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1388 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $316,801 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bibzrrrrr | 85% | 13 |
| #2 | Playz | 83% | 18 |
| #3 | eli LPDQ^ | 80% | 10 |
| #4 | zalek | 78% | 9 |
| #5 | xpRim | 76% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | chan`cyalan.com | 57% | 21 |
| #15 | HAMDOULILAH RIP THE DREAM | 57% | 35 |
| #16 | h4 | 50% | 10 |
| #17 | KAYMAAKjjang | 48% | 42 |
| #18 | .bru | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PCL : | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pingo_vn | 174 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | xpRim | 157 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | djiKON | 137 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | KAYMAAKjjang | 127 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Kyo* | 122 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyo* | +3.15 | 84 | 73 |
| #2 | xpRim | +2.54 | 66 | 69 |
| #3 | chan`cyalan.com | +1.45 | 67 | 73 |
| #4 | KAYMAAKjjang | +1.36 | 65 | 73 |
| #5 | Playz | +1.35 | 71 | 76 |





