








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 834 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 315 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3532 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,594 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3094 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2863 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4313 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3324 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,440,938 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 725 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frang | 69% | 32 |
| #2 | popeye | 63% | 30 |
| #3 | switch- | 60% | 50 |
| #4 | mae/hc | 58% | 77 |
| #5 | thirtysix | 58% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | stefan bellof | 56% | 122 |
| #11 | New York | 54% | 69 |
| #12 | sitedmite | 52% | 83 |
| #13 | R O T O R | 50% | 76 |
| #14 | Vellaa | 50% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ommeh | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | R O T O R | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | New York | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | switch- | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Demig0d β© -iwnl- | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ommeh | 506 | 0.25 | 13 min |
| #2 | π
Ίπ
°ππ
Όπ
° | 451 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #3 | New York | 327 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #4 | Vellaa | 293 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #5 | stefan bellof | 270 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frang | +3.26 | 82 | 65 |
| #2 | switch- | +2.06 | 85 | 71 |
| #3 | mae/hc | +1.89 | 76 | 59 |
| #4 | thirtysix | +1.75 | 68 | 69 |
| #5 | π
Ίπ
°ππ
Όπ
° | +1.47 | 74 | 79 |





