








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1921 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 654 matches | ||
| Faceit | 416 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12535 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 61,950 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 21769 | 35% |
| Smokes | 16509 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 8980 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 14692 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,607,819 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Randy | 66% | 115 |
| #2 | endcattt | 59% | 268 |
| #3 | Fediir | 58% | 96 |
| #4 | virtue | 58% | 115 |
| #5 | Saxxy | 58% | 190 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Saxxy | 58% | 190 |
| #6 | Twenty | 56% | 180 |
| #7 | jakehwho? | 54% | 80 |
| #8 | switch- | 53% | 88 |
| #9 | wu` | 52% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saxxy | 28 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | endcattt | 13 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Randy | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | wu` | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | virtue | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | endcattt | 958 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #2 | Saxxy | 437 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #3 | virtue | 425 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #4 | switch- | 396 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #5 | Twenty | 369 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | endcattt | +2.34 | 78 | 60 |
| #2 | Randy | +2.21 | 82 | 40 |
| #3 | Saxxy | +1.16 | 75 | 54 |
| #4 | switch- | +1.15 | 81 | 66 |
| #5 | jakehwho? | +1.01 | 75 | 71 |





