








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1243 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 639 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 84 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6606 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,325 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7980 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6026 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 7032 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6287 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,989,600 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1098 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fediir | 57% | 82 |
| #2 | switch- | 55% | 76 |
| #3 | ommeh | 52% | 48 |
| #4 | jnr | 51% | 41 |
| #5 | Russ | 51% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | New York | 48% | 439 |
| #10 | R O T O R | 48% | 250 |
| #11 | popeye | 47% | 142 |
| #12 | Vellaa | 47% | 247 |
| #13 | river | 43% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | New York | 29 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Vellaa | 12 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | popeye | 9 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | R O T O R | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | sitedmite | 4 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | New York | 1929 | 0.21 | 54 min |
| #2 | Vellaa | 908 | 0.17 | 23 min |
| #3 | sitedmite | 589 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| #4 | R O T O R | 507 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #5 | popeye | 380 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | switch- | +2.03 | 83 | 63 |
| #2 | ommeh | +1.33 | 61 | 70 |
| #3 | R O T O R | +1.02 | 79 | 61 |
| #4 | New York | +0.96 | 81 | 59 |
| #5 | Russ | +0.50 | 72 | 68 |





