








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1112 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 678 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 95 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7999 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,912 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8985 | 30% |
| Smokes | 7955 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6945 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6027 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,843,716 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1125 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SemiPixel | 57% | 53 |
| #2 | popeye | 55% | 89 |
| #3 | switch- | 54% | 136 |
| #4 | ommeh | 53% | 51 |
| #5 | Fediir | 50% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | New York | 21 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | R O T O R | 13 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Demig0d ☩ -iwnl- | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | sitedmite | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | switch- | 8 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | New York | 1515 | 0.20 | 43 min |
| #2 | Demig0d ☩ -iwnl- | 725 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #3 | switch- | 513 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #4 | R O T O R | 473 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #5 | sitedmite | 379 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | switch- | +1.62 | 80 | 64 |
| #2 | SemiPixel | +1.37 | 73 | 54 |
| #3 | ommeh | +1.00 | 61 | 72 |
| #4 | New York | +0.73 | 82 | 60 |
| #5 | Vellaa | +0.52 | 75 | 60 |





