








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
813 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,938 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 73 | 2% |
| Smokes | 1527 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 1648 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 690 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $139,330 of utility $41 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpaceHelicopter | 56% | 27 |
| #2 | Apps0 | 48% | 21 |
| #3 | Tutim | 47% | 73 |
| #4 | E@MyShorts2333 | 46% | 99 |
| #5 | Apollo | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Sledge | 42% | 33 |
| #9 | K3ibl3r3lf | 40% | 53 |
| #10 | Plimbus | 37% | 19 |
| #11 | KayDay019 | 33% | 12 |
| #12 | GerryD91 | 29% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ultipenguin | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | K3ibl3r3lf | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Sledge | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Tutim | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Grimace | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ultipenguin | 216 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #2 | Grimace | 162 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Tutim | 146 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | E@MyShorts2333 | 129 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | K3ibl3r3lf | 81 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grimace | +2.78 | 63 | 46 |
| #2 | Tutim | +1.89 | 54 | 57 |
| #3 | Ultipenguin | +1.67 | 53 | 41 |
| #4 | Apollo | +0.87 | 32 | 36 |
| #5 | Apps0 | +0.78 | 29 | 45 |





