








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 402 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Faceit | 112 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2440 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,716 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3560 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3139 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2536 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1481 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $727,851 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 85 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arne R Cool | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | weetdolphin | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | etN | 62% | 39 |
| #4 | Aldimix | 48% | 106 |
| #5 | JackMeHoff | 48% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | kung fu kenny | 43% | 21 |
| #11 | Hansen | 42% | 52 |
| #12 | RaZz | 42% | 19 |
| #13 | Dyno Paps | 41% | 46 |
| #14 | Each | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JackMeHoff | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | DaM | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Emmet | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | hanno | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Aldimix | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JackMeHoff | 331 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | DaM | 303 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | hanno | 244 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | Hansen | 228 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #5 | Aldimix | 209 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weetdolphin | +3.70 | 75 | 73 |
| #2 | etN | +2.28 | 62 | 59 |
| #3 | RaZz | +2.11 | 70 | 74 |
| #4 | Khroone | +1.81 | 59 | 67 |
| #5 | kung fu kenny | +1.65 | 77 | 65 |





