








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 883 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 499 matches | ||
| Faceit | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 190 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5939 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,341 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6740 | 28% |
| Smokes | 6259 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6034 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5308 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,563,056 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1150 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | etN | 55% | 92 |
| #2 | cApz | 52% | 102 |
| #3 | DaM | 50% | 222 |
| #4 | ZyaKs | 48% | 107 |
| #5 | Khroone | 47% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Khroone | 47% | 87 |
| #6 | Aldimix | 47% | 217 |
| #7 | Mick^ | 46% | 91 |
| #8 | JackMeHoff | 45% | 242 |
| #9 | Emmet | 44% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JackMeHoff | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Aldimix | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Mick^ | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Khroone | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | DaM | 3 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cApz | 609 | 0.27 | 19 min |
| #2 | ZyaKs | 582 | 0.25 | 17 min |
| #3 | DaM | 551 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #4 | JackMeHoff | 539 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #5 | Aldimix | 346 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Khroone | +1.89 | 63 | 65 |
| #2 | cApz | +1.72 | 52 | 86 |
| #3 | etN | +1.00 | 59 | 58 |
| #4 | hanno | +0.83 | 61 | 74 |
| #5 | JackMeHoff | -0.06 | 56 | 74 |





