








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 656 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 368 matches | ||
| Faceit | 98 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4350 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,224 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4274 | 20% |
| Smokes | 6396 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6176 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4378 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,871,860 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | etN | 57% | 122 |
| #2 | kung fu kenny | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | Hansen | 50% | 26 |
| #4 | JackMeHoff | 48% | 311 |
| #5 | Khroone | 48% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Khroone | 48% | 106 |
| #6 | DaM | 48% | 256 |
| #7 | Emmet | 48% | 171 |
| #8 | hanno | 47% | 217 |
| #9 | Dyno Paps | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JackMeHoff | 12 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | DaM | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Khroone | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | hanno | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Emmet | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JackMeHoff | 722 | 0.11 | 25 min |
| #2 | DaM | 694 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #3 | hanno | 537 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #4 | Khroone | 395 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #5 | Emmet | 288 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kung fu kenny | +3.37 | 75 | 70 |
| #2 | Khroone | +1.72 | 61 | 67 |
| #3 | etN | +1.29 | 59 | 59 |
| #4 | Hansen | +1.07 | 67 | 79 |
| #5 | hanno | +0.67 | 63 | 73 |





