








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 792 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 494 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 146 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5489 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,208 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5923 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4922 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6051 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4312 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,436,249 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 465 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | etN | 54% | 129 |
| #2 | JackMeHoff | 50% | 255 |
| #3 | hanno | 50% | 222 |
| #4 | jennyS-♛ | 49% | 88 |
| #5 | Aldimix | 48% | 256 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | hanno | 50% | 222 |
| #4 | jennyS-♛ | 49% | 88 |
| #5 | Aldimix | 48% | 256 |
| #6 | Emmet | 47% | 176 |
| #7 | Khroone | 47% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JackMeHoff | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Khroone | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Aldimix | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | hanno | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | jennyS-♛ | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JackMeHoff | 628 | 0.12 | 21 min |
| #2 | hanno | 530 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #3 | Aldimix | 445 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #4 | jennyS-♛ | 438 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #5 | Khroone | 407 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Khroone | +1.58 | 60 | 66 |
| #2 | etN | +1.19 | 59 | 59 |
| #3 | hanno | +0.73 | 62 | 74 |
| #4 | JackMeHoff | +0.01 | 56 | 76 |
| #5 | jennyS-♛ | -0.16 | 54 | 80 |





