








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 702 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 264 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 127 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2693 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,151 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3127 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3242 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4250 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2532 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,346,629 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 172 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | etN | 52% | 98 |
| #2 | Aldimix | 48% | 171 |
| #3 | DaM | 47% | 176 |
| #4 | JackMeHoff | 45% | 167 |
| #5 | Khroone | 45% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Aldimix | 48% | 171 |
| #3 | DaM | 47% | 176 |
| #4 | JackMeHoff | 45% | 167 |
| #5 | Khroone | 45% | 87 |
| #6 | hanno | 44% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JackMeHoff | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Khroone | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | DaM | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Aldimix | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | etN | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaM | 490 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #2 | hanno | 401 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | JackMeHoff | 386 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #4 | Khroone | 309 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #5 | Aldimix | 304 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Khroone | +2.56 | 61 | 67 |
| #2 | etN | +1.53 | 59 | 54 |
| #3 | hanno | +0.88 | 62 | 74 |
| #4 | JackMeHoff | +0.18 | 54 | 75 |
| #5 | Aldimix | -0.11 | 58 | 77 |





