








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 638 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 369 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 101 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3605 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,500 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4047 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5857 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4937 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2659 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,653,292 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 118 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | etN | 53% | 118 |
| #2 | DaM | 50% | 255 |
| #3 | Aldimix | 48% | 311 |
| #4 | Khroone | 48% | 125 |
| #5 | hanno | 45% | 242 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | DaM | 50% | 255 |
| #3 | Aldimix | 48% | 311 |
| #4 | Khroone | 48% | 125 |
| #5 | hanno | 45% | 242 |
| #6 | Emmet | 45% | 167 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Khroone | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Aldimix | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | DaM | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | hanno | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | etN | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaM | 677 | 0.12 | 21 min |
| #2 | hanno | 603 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #3 | Aldimix | 535 | 0.08 | 15 min |
| #4 | Khroone | 464 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #5 | Emmet | 266 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Khroone | +1.80 | 61 | 65 |
| #2 | etN | +1.20 | 56 | 58 |
| #3 | hanno | +0.68 | 61 | 73 |
| #4 | JackMeHoff | -0.05 | 58 | 74 |
| #5 | DaM | -0.29 | 50 | 71 |





