








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 884 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 460 matches | ||
| Faceit | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6115 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,397 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8907 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6236 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 6884 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7370 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,628,318 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 103 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Da Bälts | 57% | 58 |
| #2 | jeesus | 55% | 112 |
| #3 | jaki- | 55% | 126 |
| #4 | gege | 55% | 44 |
| #5 | ana | 55% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Hevosenleuka Joe | 50% | 115 |
| #8 | ℜ𝔲𝔲𝔟𝔢𝔯𝔱𝔱 ✟ | 48% | 64 |
| #9 | Hullukukko | 48% | 81 |
| #10 | Unelmavävy | 43% | 35 |
| #11 | gaslipstick | 34% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gaslipstick | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | jaki- | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | jeesus | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | ℜ𝔲𝔲𝔟𝔢𝔯𝔱𝔱 ✟ | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Jägermeister :) | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ana | 589 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #2 | jaki- | 507 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #3 | Hevosenleuka Joe | 476 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #4 | Da Bälts | 331 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #5 | jeesus | 285 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ana | +2.29 | 75 | 77 |
| #2 | jeesus | +1.93 | 75 | 71 |
| #3 | Unelmavävy | +1.53 | 82 | 66 |
| #4 | gaslipstick | +1.15 | 81 | 84 |
| #5 | Da Bälts | +0.43 | 65 | 82 |





