








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 293 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Faceit | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3015 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,499 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2731 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4294 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2896 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2578 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $905,889 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 139 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rontti | 73% | 64 |
| #2 | tiistai on mureke päivä | 65% | 72 |
| #3 | booner =Д | 65% | 66 |
| #4 | Jägermeister :) | 64% | 22 |
| #5 | jykKe | 63% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | jaki- | 57% | 184 |
| #12 | jaakk O))) | 55% | 112 |
| #13 | Hevosenleuka Joe | 55% | 188 |
| #14 | ana | 55% | 173 |
| #15 | w1nkziE | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ana | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Hevosenleuka Joe | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | jaki- | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | tiistai on mureke päivä | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | kabo8D | 3 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hevosenleuka Joe | 790 | 0.20 | 20 min |
| #2 | ana | 732 | 0.20 | 20 min |
| #3 | jaki- | 717 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #4 | Da Bälts | 354 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #5 | jaakk O))) | 346 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rontti | +2.68 | 81 | 54 |
| #2 | jykKe | +2.02 | 75 | 60 |
| #3 | ana | +1.86 | 75 | 74 |
| #4 | jeesus | +1.78 | 74 | 69 |
| #5 | Sn4p-_^ | +1.52 | 77 | 74 |





