








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1010 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 253 matches | ||
| Faceit | 253 matches | ||
| Wingman | 185 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7875 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,602 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10638 | 31% |
| Smokes | 7190 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 9561 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 7213 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,197,430 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1761 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jykKe | 59% | 82 |
| #2 | Sniipper1-_^ | 58% | 149 |
| #3 | jeesus | 55% | 173 |
| #4 | jaakk O))) | 55% | 143 |
| #5 | kabo8D | 54% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | jaki- | 52% | 609 |
| #7 | Da Bälts | 51% | 156 |
| #8 | Sn4p-_^ | 50% | 84 |
| #9 | Hevosenleuka Joe | 50% | 248 |
| #10 | Jägermeister :) | 48% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaki- | 17 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | kabo8D | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Hevosenleuka Joe | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | jeesus | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | jykKe | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaki- | 1929 | 0.17 | 53 min |
| #2 | Hevosenleuka Joe | 1077 | 0.21 | 26 min |
| #3 | Da Bälts | 802 | 0.24 | 20 min |
| #4 | jeesus | 504 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #5 | jaakk O))) | 464 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ana | +2.11 | 71 | 75 |
| #2 | jykKe | +2.04 | 75 | 61 |
| #3 | Sniipper1-_^ | +1.87 | 71 | 73 |
| #4 | jeesus | +1.38 | 73 | 71 |
| #5 | Sn4p-_^ | +1.23 | 77 | 76 |





