








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 320 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 326 matches | ||
| Faceit | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4223 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,827 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7210 | 28% |
| Smokes | 6528 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6934 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5155 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,058,309 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 566 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rontti | 70% | 67 |
| #2 | booner =Д | 63% | 51 |
| #3 | jykKe | 57% | 63 |
| #4 | Sniipper1-_^ | 57% | 63 |
| #5 | jeesus | 55% | 188 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jeesus | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | ana | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | jaki- | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | kabo8D | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Jägermeister :) | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ana | 1128 | 0.22 | 32 min |
| #2 | jaki- | 1046 | 0.20 | 29 min |
| #3 | Da Bälts | 544 | 0.24 | 14 min |
| #4 | jeesus | 528 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #5 | jaakk O))) | 409 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rontti | +3.70 | 82 | 57 |
| #2 | jykKe | +2.28 | 77 | 60 |
| #3 | Sniipper1-_^ | +1.96 | 69 | 76 |
| #4 | jeesus | +1.78 | 75 | 70 |
| #5 | ana | +1.77 | 72 | 77 |





