








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 573 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 454 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6657 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,223 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4064 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4499 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5973 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 3687 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,310,631 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 312 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MADVILLAIN | 70% | 66 |
| #2 | yumbingus | 67% | 88 |
| #3 | frang | 65% | 63 |
| #4 | The Atomic QLDer | 63% | 160 |
| #5 | π
Ίπ
°ππ
Όπ
° | 60% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Nader | 55% | 394 |
| #12 | MERC | 54% | 50 |
| #13 | Procro- | 54% | 117 |
| #14 | CHISEL CHIN CHUCK | 49% | 78 |
| #15 | onliner | 48% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | clug/hc | 25 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Nader | 19 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Serious Series: Serious Punch | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | THRILA | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | MADVILLAIN | 4 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | clug/hc | 805 | 0.09 | 20 min |
| #2 | The Atomic QLDer | 589 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #3 | π
Ίπ
°ππ
Όπ
° | 537 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #4 | Serious Series: Serious Punch | 486 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #5 | Nader | 453 | 0.06 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MADVILLAIN | +3.69 | 81 | 47 |
| #2 | THRILA | +2.52 | 80 | 59 |
| #3 | mae/hc | +1.94 | 75 | 59 |
| #4 | frang | +1.82 | 83 | 70 |
| #5 | π
Ίπ
°ππ
Όπ
° | +1.68 | 77 | 79 |





