








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1000 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 402 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6066 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,924 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4123 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2994 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1378 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 3429 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,389,040 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 138 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MADVILLAIN | 63% | 46 |
| #2 | THRILA | 60% | 124 |
| #3 | The Atomic QLDer | 58% | 136 |
| #4 | CHISEL CHIN CHUCK | 58% | 64 |
| #5 | mae/hc | 57% | 426 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Procro- | 56% | 114 |
| #9 | Serious Series: Serious Punch | 54% | 187 |
| #10 | onliner | 53% | 88 |
| #11 | yumbingus | 52% | 63 |
| #12 | snakeboy439 | 52% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nader | 20 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | mae/hc | 17 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Serious Series: Serious Punch | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | THRILA | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Procro- | 5 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Atomic QLDer | 552 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #2 | Serious Series: Serious Punch | 451 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #3 | mae/hc | 442 | 0.05 | 11 min |
| #4 | Nader | 441 | 0.06 | 12 min |
| #5 | THRILA | 426 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THRILA | +3.22 | 82 | 60 |
| #2 | MADVILLAIN | +2.64 | 83 | 49 |
| #3 | mae/hc | +1.99 | 75 | 57 |
| #4 | clug/hc | +1.37 | 73 | 51 |
| #5 | Procro- | +0.78 | 76 | 66 |





