








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 317 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2549 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,616 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3875 | 45% |
| Smokes | 2066 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 843 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 1832 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $475,448 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THRILA | 66% | 41 |
| #2 | mae/hc | 63% | 160 |
| #3 | Procro- | 61% | 57 |
| #4 | Serious Series: Serious Punch | 61% | 89 |
| #5 | CHISEL CHIN CHUCK | 60% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | CHISEL CHIN CHUCK | 60% | 50 |
| #6 | yumbingus | 58% | 117 |
| #7 | clug/hc | 58% | 136 |
| #8 | Nader | 58% | 159 |
| #9 | onliner | 54% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mae/hc | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | clug/hc | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Nader | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Serious Series: Serious Punch | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | yumbingus | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | clug/hc | 329 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | Nader | 271 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | Serious Series: Serious Punch | 251 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | mae/hc | 187 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | yumbingus | 183 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THRILA | +4.56 | 90 | 61 |
| #2 | mae/hc | +2.38 | 71 | 57 |
| #3 | clug/hc | +1.32 | 70 | 53 |
| #4 | Procro- | +0.64 | 79 | 61 |
| #5 | CHISEL CHIN CHUCK | +0.61 | 73 | 69 |





