








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 477 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 319 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 54 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5404 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,696 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2692 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4991 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3435 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3578 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,051,619 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 317 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THRILA | 68% | 91 |
| #2 | Chase | 67% | 54 |
| #3 | yumbingus | 59% | 118 |
| #4 | The Atomic QLDer | 58% | 159 |
| #5 | clug/hc | 56% | 375 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | mae/hc | 55% | 394 |
| #9 | Procro- | 55% | 82 |
| #10 | Serious Series: Serious Punch | 53% | 194 |
| #11 | flay | 50% | 58 |
| #12 | Jye | 45% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | clug/hc | 24 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | mae/hc | 15 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | CHISEL CHIN CHUCK | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Serious Series: Serious Punch | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | THRILA | 7 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | clug/hc | 705 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| #2 | CHISEL CHIN CHUCK | 590 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #3 | The Atomic QLDer | 555 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #4 | Serious Series: Serious Punch | 459 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #5 | mae/hc | 394 | 0.05 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THRILA | +3.15 | 82 | 58 |
| #2 | mae/hc | +2.18 | 76 | 58 |
| #3 | Chase | +1.66 | 76 | 56 |
| #4 | clug/hc | +1.29 | 73 | 50 |
| #5 | Procro- | +1.25 | 79 | 67 |





