








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 188 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 93 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
901 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,196 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 897 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1141 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1020 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1138 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $329,541 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | hλnnah | 50% | 22 |
| #15 | n | 46% | 24 |
| #16 | CHabiP NuRmakedomov | 44% | 25 |
| #17 | riqo | 43% | 7 |
| #18 | vale | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dyw | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | pIčUs | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nsnsnsns | 131 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | BOMBARDiAN | 122 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | hλnnah | 96 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | CHabiP NuRmakedomov | 91 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | n | 89 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n | +3.25 | 95 | 68 |
| #2 | KENNY | +2.62 | 91 | 63 |
| #3 | PrometheuS | +2.62 | 73 | 83 |
| #4 | vale | +2.07 | 78 | 41 |
| #5 | ToXeb | +1.43 | 63 | 51 |





