








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 391 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 313 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3495 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,891 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5527 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5505 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3661 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4198 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,348,255 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 405 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cool guy | 66% | 74 |
| #2 | 877-CASH-NOW | 62% | 39 |
| #3 | DirtyPigeon | 60% | 40 |
| #4 | rubaiyacht | 60% | 65 |
| #5 | chobits | 54% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weirdy Strangey | 40 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | chobits | 30 | 0.0248 |
| #3 | Gabehasbongo | 15 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Joe Bizon | 13 | 0.0173 |
| #5 | 877-CASH-NOW | 12 | 0.0161 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weirdy Strangey | 571 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | Gabehasbongo | 525 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #3 | chobits | 248 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | rubaiyacht | 213 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | Oda Nobunaga | 180 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rubaiyacht | +5.13 | 74 | 57 |
| #2 | Gabehasbongo | +3.16 | 66 | 59 |
| #3 | DirtyPigeon | +2.15 | 59 | 53 |
| #4 | chobits | +2.10 | 80 | 37 |
| #5 | cool guy | +2.02 | 62 | 43 |





