








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 834 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 238 matches | ||
| Faceit | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4978 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,494 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5546 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5162 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2794 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 4992 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,828,170 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1316 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bacxn | 67% | 36 |
| #2 | No Aim Dude | 67% | 36 |
| #3 | Depressed Pulse | 60% | 53 |
| #4 | Squalor11 | 59% | 34 |
| #5 | DirtyPigeon | 58% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Oda Nobunaga | 45% | 33 |
| #11 | Joe Bizon | 45% | 51 |
| #12 | EndRz | 45% | 29 |
| #13 | THE autistic ape | 41% | 51 |
| #14 | Meladdiction | 40% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weirdy Strangey | 21 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Saaable | 11 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Joe Bizon | 11 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | Depressed Pulse | 9 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | THE autistic ape | 6 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saaable | 617 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | Weirdy Strangey | 283 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | Squalor11 | 247 | 0.36 | 7 min |
| #4 | Prodigy Toast | 217 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #5 | ♡ Gr1ff1n ♡ | 215 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gabehasbongo | +2.23 | 63 | 60 |
| #2 | No Aim Dude | +2.05 | 63 | 53 |
| #3 | DirtyPigeon | +1.14 | 64 | 55 |
| #4 | bacxn | +0.77 | 61 | 72 |
| #5 | Depressed Pulse | +0.59 | 69 | 59 |





