








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 140 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




85 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1486 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,783 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2203 | 46% |
| Smokes | 1198 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 204 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 1178 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $577,222 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 377 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🎉🍾HAPPY NEW YEARS🍾🎉 | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | jizzy | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | starly | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | cool guy | 55% | 33 |
| #5 | Saaable | 54% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weirdy Strangey | 13 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | rubaiyacht | 8 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Dimx | 6 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | 877-CASH-NOW | 6 | 0.0108 |
| #5 | Saaable | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rubaiyacht | 255 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | Weirdy Strangey | 186 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Saaable | 167 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Dimx | 99 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | starly | 91 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🎉🍾HAPPY NEW YEARS🍾🎉 | +3.22 | 84 | 48 |
| #2 | starly | +3.18 | 70 | 60 |
| #3 | rubaiyacht | +3.16 | 72 | 58 |
| #4 | Gabehasbongo | +0.81 | 68 | 56 |
| #5 | chobits | +0.57 | 78 | 44 |





