








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 225 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 210 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1701 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,769 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2901 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3555 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2209 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3104 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $596,723 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 274 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Melvin | 42% | 19 |
| #8 | [J]Mitch7 | 40% | 35 |
| #9 | LITTER B㊉X | 40% | 215 |
| #10 | Bhein | 35% | 116 |
| #11 | DAD | 21% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boomhauer | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | LITTER B㊉X | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Target | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | t-bone | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Smokey the Bear | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boomhauer | 724 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #2 | chirp | 270 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | LITTER B㊉X | 192 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | Smokey the Bear | 175 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | Bhein | 116 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chirp | +2.92 | 83 | 74 |
| #2 | Boomhauer | +2.35 | 61 | 56 |
| #3 | [J]Mitch7 | +1.70 | 50 | 64 |
| #4 | Bhein | +0.45 | 46 | 51 |
| #5 | Smokey the Bear | +0.39 | 69 | 64 |





