








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1374 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,768 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1501 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1618 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1496 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1153 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $274,073 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomi.K | 60% | 35 |
| #2 | sicker than your average | 52% | 89 |
| #3 | Mashjes | 51% | 59 |
| #4 | PeterG | 50% | 84 |
| #5 | pCon * ۞W۞s۞H gEAR2gAME | 49% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | sicker than your average | 52% | 89 |
| #3 | Mashjes | 51% | 59 |
| #4 | PeterG | 50% | 84 |
| #5 | pCon * ۞W۞s۞H gEAR2gAME | 49% | 85 |
| #6 | i have no monitor | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sicker than your average | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Mashjes | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | i have no monitor | 3 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | PeterG | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Tomi.K | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sicker than your average | 393 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #2 | PeterG | 312 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | pCon * ۞W۞s۞H gEAR2gAME | 104 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Mashjes | 64 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Tomi.K | 58 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomi.K | +1.82 | 72 | 76 |
| #2 | pCon * ۞W۞s۞H gEAR2gAME | +1.37 | 72 | 66 |
| #3 | PeterG | +0.94 | 74 | 70 |
| #4 | leonmeister | -0.18 | 67 | 74 |
| #5 | sicker than your average | -0.38 | 55 | 77 |





