








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
610 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,786 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 414 | 23% |
| Smokes | 419 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 589 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 364 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $207,844 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sicker than your average | 45% | 44 |
| #2 | PeterG | 44% | 9 |
| #3 | Mashjes | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | leonmeister | 37% | 19 |
| #5 | pCon * ۞W۞s۞H gEAR2gAME | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sicker than your average | 45% | 44 |
| #2 | PeterG | 44% | 9 |
| #3 | Mashjes | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | leonmeister | 37% | 19 |
| #5 | pCon * ۞W۞s۞H gEAR2gAME | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sicker than your average | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | PeterG | 1 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sicker than your average | 165 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | leonmeister | 39 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | PeterG | 27 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | pCon * ۞W۞s۞H gEAR2gAME | 9 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | Mashjes | 4 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PeterG | +2.41 | 67 | 63 |
| #2 | sicker than your average | +0.46 | 49 | 72 |
| #3 | leonmeister | +0.01 | 60 | 71 |
| #4 | pCon * ۞W۞s۞H gEAR2gAME | -0.21 | 70 | 71 |
| #5 | i have no monitor | -1.77 | 55 | 48 |





