








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 164 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2038 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,591 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2360 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1933 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1630 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1668 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $224,896 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 255 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BabuskaKompot | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | Gu1dotoN | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | sicker than your average | 52% | 159 |
| #4 | Tomi.K | 52% | 75 |
| #5 | leonmeister | 50% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | sicker than your average | 52% | 159 |
| #4 | Tomi.K | 52% | 75 |
| #5 | leonmeister | 50% | 84 |
| #6 | pCon * ۞W۞s۞H gEAR2gAME | 49% | 111 |
| #7 | Mashjes | 47% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sicker than your average | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Mashjes | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Tomi.K | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | leonmeister | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | pCon * ۞W۞s۞H gEAR2gAME | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sicker than your average | 707 | 0.20 | 24 min |
| #2 | leonmeister | 155 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | pCon * ۞W۞s۞H gEAR2gAME | 148 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | Tomi.K | 137 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Mashjes | 72 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PeterG | +1.22 | 76 | 67 |
| #2 | Gu1dotoN | +0.88 | 75 | 62 |
| #3 | pCon * ۞W۞s۞H gEAR2gAME | +0.74 | 69 | 67 |
| #4 | Tomi.K | +0.47 | 72 | 76 |
| #5 | leonmeister | -0.47 | 67 | 74 |





