








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1635 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,465 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1045 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1590 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1567 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1263 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $230,660 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sicker than your average | 53% | 125 |
| #2 | Tomi.K | 52% | 62 |
| #3 | leonmeister | 49% | 85 |
| #4 | PeterG | 49% | 111 |
| #5 | Mashjes | 47% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Tomi.K | 52% | 62 |
| #3 | leonmeister | 49% | 85 |
| #4 | PeterG | 49% | 111 |
| #5 | Mashjes | 47% | 79 |
| #6 | i have no monitor | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomi.K | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | sicker than your average | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | PeterG | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Mashjes | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | leonmeister | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sicker than your average | 554 | 0.21 | 20 min |
| #2 | PeterG | 422 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | leonmeister | 149 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Tomi.K | 108 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Mashjes | 84 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomi.K | +0.94 | 75 | 76 |
| #2 | pCon * ۞W۞s۞H gEAR2gAME | +0.72 | 68 | 67 |
| #3 | PeterG | +0.61 | 75 | 68 |
| #4 | leonmeister | -0.32 | 68 | 74 |
| #5 | sicker than your average | -0.75 | 56 | 77 |





