








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 81 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2364 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,021 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2334 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1342 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1537 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 808 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $576,440 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | xLMS | 46% | 106 |
| #9 | MAZ | 45% | 11 |
| #10 | WhoRainSun | 43% | 23 |
| #11 | xake | 42% | 31 |
| #12 | Fonk | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Inspector Cocker #LAN | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | xWhite | 4 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | zimtschneckle | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | 𝕰𝖉𝖜𝖎𝖓 | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | WhoRainSun | 2 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zimtschneckle | 702 | 0.27 | 20 min |
| #2 | 𝕰𝖉𝖜𝖎𝖓 | 166 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | suNrize | 153 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | xWhite | 134 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #5 | xLMS | 99 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Silex | +1.84 | 72 | 63 |
| #2 | suNrize | +1.42 | 74 | 65 |
| #3 | 𝕰𝖉𝖜𝖎𝖓 | +0.43 | 77 | 62 |
| #4 | Fonk | +0.09 | 80 | 69 |
| #5 | zimtschneckle | +0.08 | 66 | 70 |





