








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 286 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4747 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,505 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3996 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3926 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4039 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2544 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,532,877 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mopsbree | 63% | 40 |
| #2 | stoertebeker | 57% | 37 |
| #3 | LuckyDuck | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | Silex | 51% | 59 |
| #5 | suNrize | 50% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | CrankyGerman | 42% | 24 |
| #13 | xWhite | 41% | 70 |
| #14 | xLMS | 41% | 145 |
| #15 | ✪Katos | 39% | 100 |
| #16 | Jän | 34% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xWhite | 11 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | Super Vegetto | 9 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | [WSvB] Atin | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | ✪Katos | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Jän | 4 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zimtschneckle | 795 | 0.26 | 22 min |
| #2 | ✪Katos | 303 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | suNrize | 272 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | xWhite | 266 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #5 | Silex | 218 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stoertebeker | +3.35 | 87 | 76 |
| #2 | LuckyDuck | +2.52 | 78 | 75 |
| #3 | Super Vegetto | +1.66 | 87 | 66 |
| #4 | Silex | +1.64 | 73 | 61 |
| #5 | 𝕰𝖉𝖜𝖎𝖓 | +1.50 | 80 | 64 |





