








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 371 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 229 matches | ||
| Faceit | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4122 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,836 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5378 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4240 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1713 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 3505 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,063,715 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 176 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aldo | 55% | 62 |
| #2 | Jake | 54% | 72 |
| #3 | jac0jac0 | 54% | 41 |
| #4 | Gel | 54% | 127 |
| #5 | -fr0stbyte | 53% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gel | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | p.shadow | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | xAlpha | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Jake | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | -fr0stbyte | 4 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gel | 741 | 0.28 | 18 min |
| #2 | Nukes | 350 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | ULTRA EGO! | 334 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #4 | aldo | 323 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #5 | -fr0stbyte | 296 | 0.24 | 9 min |





