








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 537 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 119 matches | ||
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1947 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,085 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2288 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1654 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1006 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2137 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $962,984 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | aldo | 52% | 92 |
| #10 | jac0jac0 | 50% | 16 |
| #11 | Nukes | 46% | 54 |
| #12 | p.shadow | 46% | 24 |
| #13 | Zef | 39% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHKEMI | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | aldo | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | -fr0stbyte | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Jake | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | ULTRA EGO! | 2 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aldo | 494 | 0.26 | 12 min |
| #2 | CHKEMI | 401 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #3 | Zef | 244 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #4 | -fr0stbyte | 220 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #5 | Gel | 212 | 0.33 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aldo | +2.88 | 77 | 63 |
| #2 | jac0jac0 | +2.76 | 85 | 51 |
| #3 | -fr0stbyte | +2.16 | 83 | 78 |
| #4 | Zef | +1.49 | 73 | 71 |
| #5 | Jake | +0.61 | 74 | 64 |





