








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1230 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 998 matches | ||
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 115 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8775 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,804 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9383 | 24% |
| Smokes | 15057 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 5375 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 8989 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,280,423 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2652 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FlameOG | 54% | 108 |
| #2 | p.shadow | 52% | 202 |
| #3 | JuanCawk | 52% | 69 |
| #4 | CHKEMI | 52% | 104 |
| #5 | Gel | 52% | 225 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gel | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | jac0jac0 | 6 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | 40r3sk1n adjust3r | 6 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | CHKEMI | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | ULTRA EGO! | 4 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 40r3sk1n adjust3r | 2958 | 0.31 | 83 min |
| #2 | Gel | 1544 | 0.32 | 33 min |
| #3 | ULTRA EGO! | 1295 | 0.24 | 33 min |
| #4 | Zef | 1171 | 0.28 | 34 min |
| #5 | p.shadow | 905 | 0.20 | 22 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zef | +2.04 | 75 | 71 |
| #2 | 40r3sk1n adjust3r | +0.74 | 52 | 67 |
| #3 | Gel | +0.68 | 74 | 57 |
| #4 | jac0jac0 | +0.57 | 79 | 47 |
| #5 | CHKEMI | +0.56 | 76 | 69 |





