








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 628 matches | ||
| Premier | 500 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15022 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,065 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15181 | 37% |
| Smokes | 11570 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4657 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 9657 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,704,864 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1393 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | 40r3sk1n adjust3r | 46% | 133 |
| #7 | jac0jac0 | 46% | 118 |
| #8 | Ding Ding | 45% | 71 |
| #9 | Nukes | 43% | 245 |
| #10 | p.shadow | 41% | 158 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baja | 25 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | Gel | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | 40r3sk1n adjust3r | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Ding Ding | 7 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | argy#25/8 | 6 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gel | 1487 | 0.33 | 34 min |
| #2 | 40r3sk1n adjust3r | 871 | 0.30 | 25 min |
| #3 | Baja | 761 | 0.28 | 17 min |
| #4 | Nukes | 751 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #5 | p.shadow | 590 | 0.18 | 12 min |





