








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1259 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 757 matches | ||
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9687 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,578 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9536 | 31% |
| Smokes | 8753 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5946 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 6343 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,190,261 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3937 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jac0jac0 | 57% | 184 |
| #2 | 40r3sk1n adjust3r | 55% | 150 |
| #3 | Nukes | 52% | 202 |
| #4 | Gel | 51% | 176 |
| #5 | CHKEMI | 50% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 40r3sk1n adjust3r | 55% | 150 |
| #3 | Nukes | 52% | 202 |
| #4 | Gel | 51% | 176 |
| #5 | CHKEMI | 50% | 86 |
| #6 | ULTRA EGO! | 41% | 158 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gel | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | jac0jac0 | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Nukes | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | 40r3sk1n adjust3r | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | ULTRA EGO! | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gel | 1257 | 0.32 | 28 min |
| #2 | 40r3sk1n adjust3r | 1082 | 0.32 | 29 min |
| #3 | ULTRA EGO! | 690 | 0.21 | 17 min |
| #4 | Nukes | 651 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #5 | CHKEMI | 515 | 0.27 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CHKEMI | +0.58 | 77 | 69 |
| #2 | jac0jac0 | +0.29 | 77 | 48 |
| #3 | 40r3sk1n adjust3r | +0.26 | 48 | 64 |
| #4 | Gel | +0.13 | 73 | 59 |
| #5 | p.shadow | +0.08 | 72 | 61 |





