








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 71 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
516 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,419 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 244 | 17% |
| Smokes | 341 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 596 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 238 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $428,950 of utility $259 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kristo | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | behanc- | 50% | 46 |
| #3 | Litt- | 50% | 52 |
| #4 | TBall | 45% | 31 |
| #5 | HANSEMINATOR | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | EyeCandy | 41% | 22 |
| #8 | Disco Dolphin | 39% | 38 |
| #9 | LoVitZ | 39% | 31 |
| #10 | Fn-Riz | 38% | 16 |
| #11 | F1GO | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Disco Dolphin | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | TBall | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | ZukwiZ | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | LoVitZ | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | F1GO | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TBall | 166 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #2 | LoVitZ | 116 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | Litt- | 108 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | behanc- | 102 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Disco Dolphin | 101 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | behanc- | +2.70 | 64 | 84 |
| #2 | ZukwiZ | +2.52 | 72 | 67 |
| #3 | TBall | +1.72 | 64 | 74 |
| #4 | kristo | +0.50 | 80 | 62 |
| #5 | Litt- | +0.16 | 47 | 67 |





