








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 121 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2020 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,260 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2719 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2600 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3000 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1941 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $580,911 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kristo | 55% | 20 |
| #2 | EyeCandy | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | behanc- | 51% | 144 |
| #4 | Litt- | 50% | 52 |
| #5 | lillegud | 50% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Hercraft ♿ | 46% | 130 |
| #8 | LoVitZ | 42% | 24 |
| #9 | LeJoop! | 39% | 38 |
| #10 | ZukwiZ | 32% | 19 |
| #11 | Jürgen med umlaut | 29% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TBall | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | behanc- | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #3 | Hercraft ♿ | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | Jürgen med umlaut | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | LoVitZ | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TBall | 652 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #2 | behanc- | 277 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | lillegud | 226 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | Hercraft ♿ | 186 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Litt- | 100 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | behanc- | +1.11 | 67 | 82 |
| #2 | TBall | +0.92 | 60 | 74 |
| #3 | Hercraft ♿ | +0.57 | 57 | 66 |
| #4 | lillegud | -0.07 | 64 | 69 |
| #5 | kristo | -0.14 | 80 | 56 |





