








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 113 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1203 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,145 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 962 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1349 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1610 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1224 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $381,397 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Saft | 56% | 34 |
| #5 | Leinaas | 50% | 84 |
| #6 | fshow | 47% | 195 |
| #7 | Chill Beavar | 44% | 52 |
| #8 | Geir | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leinaas | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Chill Beavar | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Geir | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Saft | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fshow | 316 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | Leinaas | 124 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Chill Beavar | 83 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | cM | 60 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Geir | 39 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fshow c'',) | +3.57 | 82 | 65 |
| #2 | fshow | +2.01 | 66 | 72 |
| #3 | cM | +1.06 | 71 | 66 |
| #4 | Geir | +0.04 | 44 | 72 |
| #5 | Leinaas | -0.02 | 57 | 52 |





