








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 454 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1904 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,234 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 930 | 29% |
| Smokes | 535 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 894 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 875 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $914,808 of utility $267 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 93 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .. n0stra | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | KISMAAHHH | 65% | 26 |
| #3 | tkefni | 56% | 93 |
| #4 | Willy Mcdougall | 50% | 34 |
| #5 | aam | 49% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Willy Mcdougall | 50% | 34 |
| #5 | aam | 49% | 95 |
| #6 | gimp | 44% | 39 |
| #7 | Gibby | 39% | 28 |
| #8 | froNt d:) | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aam | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Willy Mcdougall | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | KISMAAHHH | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | tkefni | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | gimp | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tkefni | 659 | 0.34 | 20 min |
| #2 | aam | 327 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | KISMAAHHH | 110 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | gimp | 91 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Gibby | 53 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | max | +3.48 | 86 | 54 |
| #2 | .. n0stra | +1.49 | 86 | 56 |
| #3 | KISMAAHHH | +1.35 | 73 | 65 |
| #4 | Gibby | +1.26 | 79 | 57 |
| #5 | tkefni | +0.76 | 74 | 84 |





