








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 232 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2595 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,897 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2147 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1946 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2248 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1556 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $674,578 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Memegineer | 62% | 87 |
| #2 | tomfoolery | 62% | 26 |
| #3 | illusive | 57% | 70 |
| #4 | vic*m4 | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | Swave | 54% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | carpenter | 50% | 28 |
| #14 | D-bo | 48% | 132 |
| #15 | Storm | 48% | 40 |
| #16 | chris | 37% | 35 |
| #17 | sTarK x_0 | 36% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D-bo | 13 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Memegineer | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | chris | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | OranG | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | big ounce | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D-bo | 507 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #2 | OranG | 200 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Memegineer | 198 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | sTarK x_0 | 184 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | allen | 133 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chris | +2.71 | 82 | 64 |
| #2 | Swave | +2.47 | 88 | 55 |
| #3 | sodium_lord | +2.31 | 57 | 66 |
| #4 | gaul | +2.14 | 78 | 65 |
| #5 | big ounce | +1.74 | 51 | 60 |





