








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 116 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 258 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3248 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,439 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3240 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4398 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3022 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1779 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $564,235 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 351 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | allen | 77% | 22 |
| #2 | carpenter | 54% | 24 |
| #3 | Candyman | 51% | 73 |
| #4 | pcoon | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | chris | 50% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Storm | 46% | 118 |
| #10 | D-bo | 45% | 160 |
| #11 | Sheepy | 43% | 98 |
| #12 | WooTs | 42% | 33 |
| #13 | murkocet | 39% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D-bo | 26 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | big ounce | 16 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Storm | 9 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | chris | 5 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | Sheepy | 3 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D-bo | 654 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #2 | big ounce | 219 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #3 | murkocet | 166 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | sodium_lord | 138 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Storm | 121 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chris | +4.24 | 83 | 62 |
| #2 | sodium_lord | +2.94 | 59 | 65 |
| #3 | D-bo | +2.75 | 80 | 67 |
| #4 | allen | +2.15 | 76 | 49 |
| #5 | big ounce | +1.90 | 57 | 58 |





