








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 936 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 658 matches | ||
| Faceit | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7358 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,153 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8259 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5940 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 9866 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 7088 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,016,112 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1341 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Candyman | 62% | 87 |
| #2 | Swave | 54% | 96 |
| #3 | allen | 47% | 93 |
| #4 | D-bo | 44% | 77 |
| #5 | big ounce | 42% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Candyman | 62% | 87 |
| #2 | Swave | 54% | 96 |
| #3 | allen | 47% | 93 |
| #4 | D-bo | 44% | 77 |
| #5 | big ounce | 42% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D-bo | 8 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | allen | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Swave | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Candyman | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | big ounce | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D-bo | 338 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #2 | Swave | 179 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Candyman | 141 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | allen | 124 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | big ounce | 79 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swave | +1.57 | 87 | 54 |
| #2 | big ounce | +0.61 | 47 | 56 |
| #3 | D-bo | +0.60 | 78 | 71 |
| #4 | Memegineer | +0.24 | 67 | 76 |
| #5 | Candyman | -0.00 | 67 | 59 |





