








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 873 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 808 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 113 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




144 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10116 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,725 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15598 | 38% |
| Smokes | 9533 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 8886 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 6708 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $635,817 of utility $30 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5376 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gaul | 57% | 53 |
| #2 | Storm | 56% | 215 |
| #3 | illusive | 55% | 120 |
| #4 | big ounce | 52% | 509 |
| #5 | allen | 49% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Candyman | 48% | 132 |
| #8 | Swave | 48% | 80 |
| #9 | OranG | 45% | 160 |
| #10 | Memegineer | 44% | 77 |
| #11 | murkocet | 44% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | big ounce | 32 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | OranG | 17 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | chris | 13 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Storm | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | illusive | 5 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | big ounce | 584 | 0.05 | 18 min |
| #2 | OranG | 367 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | chris | 300 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #4 | murkocet | 227 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Storm | 214 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Swave | +3.12 | 89 | 55 |
| #2 | gaul | +2.07 | 81 | 59 |
| #3 | chris | +1.83 | 83 | 65 |
| #4 | D-bo | +1.30 | 80 | 67 |
| #5 | big ounce | +1.06 | 52 | 61 |





