








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 767 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1027 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 100 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11306 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,464 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4732 | 14% |
| Smokes | 13304 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 9038 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 7390 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,877,464 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2207 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Candyman | 53% | 129 |
| #2 | D-bo | 52% | 509 |
| #3 | chris | 52% | 201 |
| #4 | Storm | 52% | 464 |
| #5 | illusive | 51% | 295 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Storm | 52% | 464 |
| #5 | illusive | 51% | 295 |
| #6 | murkocet | 47% | 288 |
| #7 | OranG | 46% | 223 |
| #8 | Memegineer | 42% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D-bo | 62 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Storm | 14 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | illusive | 13 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | OranG | 13 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | chris | 9 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D-bo | 2111 | 0.20 | 57 min |
| #2 | murkocet | 599 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #3 | OranG | 538 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #4 | Storm | 463 | 0.05 | 12 min |
| #5 | chris | 296 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chris | +2.25 | 84 | 64 |
| #2 | D-bo | +1.64 | 81 | 69 |
| #3 | big ounce | +1.16 | 53 | 61 |
| #4 | Candyman | +0.49 | 64 | 56 |
| #5 | illusive | -0.39 | 49 | 48 |





