








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 194 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2510 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,251 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1480 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2563 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2525 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1683 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,815,341 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Memegineer | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | big ounce | 59% | 41 |
| #3 | Dirty Dan | 57% | 49 |
| #4 | carpenter | 56% | 27 |
| #5 | Candyman | 52% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Yudken | 40% | 42 |
| #15 | vic*m4 | 38% | 21 |
| #16 | viN | 35% | 54 |
| #17 | Matt Hunger | 32% | 25 |
| #18 | Cory! | 29% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D-bo | 7 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | WooTs | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | OranG | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | chris | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Memegineer | 3 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sodium_lord | 474 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | WooTs | 247 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | viN | 217 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #4 | OranG | 187 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | D-bo | 175 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | big ounce | +3.35 | 55 | 57 |
| #2 | Dirty Dan | +3.08 | 74 | 60 |
| #3 | chris | +3.03 | 84 | 60 |
| #4 | Memegineer | +2.57 | 71 | 73 |
| #5 | Stairsy | +2.33 | 71 | 59 |





